Frankie's still alive out at his dad's old place
But, Frankie scratched out of the human race a very long time ago
He prefers to be left alone and coldly forgotten
But, I stop in every now and again
Mostly to spite him
The way he stopped me in his driveway was typically cinematic
And fully semi-automatic
“Why you gotta point that thing at me, Frank?”
He said, “Please step out of the vehicle, son, and follow me loud and clear”
I watched him light his water on fire
He said, “The end of days are here! The end of days are here!
I know y'all got your minds made up about me.
You all think I'm crazy
My driveway don't go all the way to the street.
But, now you've seen it with your own two eyes.
And now you've seen it, I'd say you have to believe it.
I'd say you'd have to believe it!
Now don't go telling all them assheads uptown.
I don't need 'em coming around – all those vermin with their diseases.
You tell 'em Frank ain't smoking in the shower anymore.
No, Frankie ain't smoking in the shower anymore.
It ain't because he won't
It's because he can't
It's cuz if he did, ol' Frankie would explode.”